From Martin Sent Wed, Nov 5th 1997, 16:29
From Martin Sent Wed, Nov 5th 1997, 16:29
so after using a nifty research technique i picked up on this list, i've discovered that men are more interested in ball games than idm. so as to prevent us blokes from getting sleepy i've done this review in the style of a football (soccer) match. the reviewed release is the home team, it's awarded a goal for a good to stunning track, no goal for average track indicated by tie. duff tracks are a goal to the away team, oooh. if the final score allows i can then match the cd to a teams current performance to give a general idea how good it is. for instance on the current form of the team i support, everton, they would roughly be equivalent to a review of the new spice girls lp. don't worry spunk jazz is better. here we go: spunk jazz/cd/ill -> animals on wheels "hate me" - like mark stewarts "..veneer of demcracy.." lp gone drum'n'bass, tho' mu-ziq might be a more contemporary pointer. wildly distorted and placed unfeasibly high in the mix, the drums attempt to bury a cute melody and some skittery snare, but imo don't quite succeed. what an opener. goal. 1-0. -> si begg "you're on you're (sic) own" - complex chattery percussion leads into a tr*p-h*ppy lope, with gently building dub atmosphereics. middle section does go on a bit, but then there's a fade, and lo, a groovy guitar lick takes it into an enternaining close. goal (just). 2-0. -> bubbah's tum "dirty great mable" - west coast rap style intro w/ glue sniffing monologue alert. militaristic beats drenched in distortion, with more massively up-front drums in total eq overload shock. for most of the duration tho' melody and variety are conveyed by a lone squiggling synth. despite the great title its not quite enough. oooh. 2-1. -> paddington breaks "wetwang" - wheee. squarepusher style drum heaven, in a bath of warm afx bubbles. beautiful. goooooooaal! 3-1. -> come on feel the nothing "fat dog (12 o'clock)" - warning, very fast, very distorted, in a check yer headphone cable kinda way, drums. a guy shouts, then it gets faster. when things do slow down, the distortion gets cranked up further. whew. goal by mindfuck. 4-1. -> value ape "old school knee clicker" - more conventional, tho' graceful and sweeping, drum'n'bass. sublimainal c+w (??) snippet heralds a drop in the sound, then the pace ups a bit. er, and thats it really. v. short tho. tie. still 4-1. -> mould "holiby's theorem" - jazzy sq*p*r drums, and a splinteringly icy melody are gradually thawed by warm synth washes and an increasingly deep bubbling bass glow. a mellow lovely goal. 5-1 -> hoarse operator "blue tea" - oh oh, doomy atmospherics. decent drum program can't quite lift it. overuse of sample "do you wanna be poisoned, do you wanna be murdered, do you wanna be killed?" (er, no) make this one for the goths when they get into d'n'b. oooh. 5-2. -> animals on wheels "f.y.a." - nervously noodly this track made me want to go and do something else. was then in danger of being rescued by some ace fractured drumming. then became more furiously noodly. the drums again take over leading into a fusion(y) keyboard calm. again overwhelmed by nervousness, with the drumming getting stronger than ever. it keeps going on like this, help. tie. 5-2 -> paddington breaks "spare parts" - we are now entering an industrial area, please wear your hardhats. clanky noise is dragged onto the dancefloor by a furiously insistant disco funk animal. not subtle, but has what it takes. goal. 6-2 -> milky boy "the ballad of terry ping" - somewhat interesting bass kills time waiting for something to happen. there is no shortage of attempts at distraction, but the central rhythm unfortunately remains leaden and unadventurous. may have been better if alll the good bits were squeezed into 3 minutes, but at 6+ it's way too long. oooh. 6-3 -> vert "tense and leaning" - mighty evil noise kick starts this into action. then loss of points for adding sisnister organ sound, thereby being guilty of trying to sound scary. lots of interesting textures used tho'. tie. final score stays at 6-3. so a good win for spunk jazz. on current form it probably warrants a man utd. -bub