From Alex Reynolds Sent Fri, Oct 23rd 1998, 23:32
From Alex Reynolds Sent Fri, Oct 23rd 1998, 23:32
IDM HATE-CRIME MODERATOR ZEROES IN ON LATEST ANTI-ART-FAG PROTESTS Kansas City, KANSAS, Oct 23 (REUTERZ) In a bold move bound to strike endless controversy into the darkest heart of the IDM mailing list, Chief List Moderator Aran Parillo has decided to fight back against the caustic hatred currently displayed on the list towards the so-called "art fag" element, those list members who are literate, pay too much for hideous coffee, can count beyond the number of fingers on their hands, and happen to listen to electronic music. "Just because some art fags listen to IDM doesn't mean any of us normal folk has the right to step on them. Elitists have feelings, too," Parillo emphasized in an on-line interview. "Our new list rules will effectively stamp out anti-art-fag rhetoric by having offenders drink gallons of lattes and analyze liner notes from Robert Fripp's back catalogue. Members must prove they have reformed by bringing in receipts from Starbucks and phone-book-thick dissertations on the Frippertronic motif." Aran explains his choice of locale: "We decided to start our campaign in the midwest, specifically due to high percentage of IDM market share here who may harbor anti-art-fag feelings, but mostly because they all live out in the sticks and about ten thousand miles away from reality in all directions." Residents in the area had mixed feelings about the rule changes, ranging from complete outrage to bored indifference. "Squarecrusher", 23, and a fluff boy in the thriving, midwestern gay porn industry finds himself among many in the plains who find the IDM art-fag culture offensive, and he has no reservations discussing the matter. "It's disgusting, the way they walk around with all those black clothes on. I mean, a little color coordination wouldn't hurt them, would it? And all those piercings... Actually, I like the piercings. But don't get me started about those black-wearing espresso-drinking maori-armband-tatooed black lipsticked clove-cig-smoking sort of tragically hip individuals always carrying copies of Bukowski and Sartre with them to raves -- bore-ing! It's like getting jiggy with a thesaurus. "I'm from the midwest, and we like people that smile at strangers and have firm handshakes. Give IDM back to the normal people. And don't forget to catch my handiwork on 'Ballbusters II' and 'IV'." Rod "All-American" Lester, star quarterback on a local midwestern high school football team and a regular contributor to the IDM list, took a few moments to think before putting forward his pov: "I think I'm okay with the whole idea of letting art-fags participate on the mailing list. You know, I have an uncle who has a tendency to drop Chomsky and Delillo quotes at family reunions; there's always an art fag somewhere in the family. We just have to learn to be a little more tolerant of diversity on IDM. Like, they're everywhere, you know? Live and let live." Sociologist Alex Reynolds, Ph.D., of the University of Kansas indicates that the origins of this vicious outpouring of hatred may have deeper and darker roots in our society as a whole. "What we see in the average art-fagaphobic list reader is your standard, post-modern neurotic, trying his best to out-hip the hipsters. By emulating the complete opposite of your typical, God-fearing art fag, this mental case is trying to rebel against the anti-authority element in society -- stereotypically represented by the image of the black-clad, alternative, moderately-pierced grad student. "Carrying this to its logical conclusion, the conformer becomes even more 'down with it' than the caffeine-inebriated 'Dieter' type, if such a high level of coolness is even possible. "Pretending to be an emotionally-detached moron, a drooling slob with an IQ of 3, the non-art-fag IDM listener could easily become 'really cool' in someone's eyes, as opposed to simply 'cool'. In this day and age, where image and ego are everything, this could be very compelling behavior." Only time will tell what fruit will bear as a result of this crack-down on IDM, says Dr. Reynolds. "Some people forgot along the way that the list was about the music and having a few laughs and instead focused on the clothes and mannerisms of the other members. Maybe forcing hot coffee and Fripp's ideas about copyright law upon them will result in their reconsideration of the art fag's role on IDM, and their own roles, too." =A9 1998 Reuterz Inc. "Fair Use" means fair game. No joke: The Hate Crimes Prevention Act http://www.hrc.org/issues/leg/hcpa/index2.html __________________________________________________________________________ Alex Reynolds Distributed Support Specialist Department of Biology School of Arts & Sciences Computing University of Pennsylvania Philadelphia, PA email:xxxxxxxx@xxx.xxxxx.xxx phone:215.573.2818 Interviewer--what do the words mean? Brian Eno--what do the chords mean?