From Dominick Winters Sent Tue, Sep 28th 1999, 17:10
Reuters (United Kingdom) Freedom of Access to Artistic Product Act 1999 Rev 1C In an unprecedented court case, the Scottish band Swords of Mexico were jailed for 20 years each under the Act number 234 of 1999, namely that of Freedom of Access to Artistic Product. The prosecution, acting under international law for Mr Zak Dweeb of Redneck, OH, successfully prosecuted the Swords on 5 counts each of "restricting public access to the said audio product". The Swords of Mexico, in defence, stated that as they had only been signed to a major label for a matter of months, had to move house twice, conducted telephone interviews 4 times a day, lost 50 pounds in weight between them and received professional counselling for stress and overwork, they had had little time to organize the immense distribution and legal costs in compiling albums of all their previous material. The defense also pointed out that this material only comprised of: four 30 minute BASF tapes of the two singing after coming home from the pub pissed, a home video of one of their weddings, and their recording of a few songs that they made for their mother 15 years ago, playing a penny whistle and a dustbin. However, the prosecution was emphatic in their attack "It is absolutely disgusting that this material has been hidden for this amount of time, both the artist and their label are under almost devine duty to provide this recorded material to their fans, in every possible format. Judge Redneck said "I am afraid that under the recently passed act I have no option but to imprison you both. Your attitude to your fans disgusts me, and I only fear that your terms in prison is not long enough. The amount of suffering and expense that you have caused Mr Dweeb is beyond comprehension, I cannot see how either of you will be able to sleep comfortably at night from now on. May God rest your souls". Mr Dweeb said after the case, "I hope that this in some small way can teach other artists a lesson, I am tired now and I am going home, c'mon mom". Dweeb was awarded $1,500,000 in damages, 2000 copies of the hidden recordings to distribute and/or sell at his discretion, the house belonging to the Swords of Mexico, all their worldly possessions, 51% of their current record company, their wives, their large collection of Star Wars Figures, a comfort blanket, 10 packs of dipers and one copy of the Sword's official album. "I am happy with the compensation I have received", he said later, "but it will never make up for the hurt and pain I have endured". He left London later that night by Concorde. ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com