From s.f.w.d. Sent Fri, Apr 24th 1998, 05:34
From s.f.w.d. Sent Fri, Apr 24th 1998, 05:34
vvm for your granny! _____________________________________________________ VVMT0005 : Chart Runners LP - Various Artistes (*as advertised on TV) Following on from the highly acclaimed Christmas 7" smash 'Missingtoe & Whine" : VVMT4, those butcher boys from Manchester are at it again with their latest offering 'Chart Runners'. The dust has bearly settled and the cat is still fat with its three eyes and 5 paws. This time accompanied by CV[EV] the boys take you on a tour of your insides and more. It seems that this time around the V/Vm instigators are so confident that this will place itself within your and your families hearts that they are offering a granny back money back guarantee. Should your granny not enjoy the product and feel compelled enough to write directly to V/Vm a full money back exchange for the vinyl will be initiated. Those exposed to VVMT5 thus far seem impressed, indeed Mr Viktor Kayak has expressed an interest in buying the company so reported one of the UK daily broadsheets....... A closer inspection of the vinyl reveals 15 tracks by various artistes we presume, though information is scarce. After the opening orchestra appear in the 'sea major' the 'adsf' system break kicks in and your record needle appears to crumble before your eyes mid track, but like all good Paul Daniel's magic tricks Debbie Magee is on hand to make sure things run smoothly as the track finishes its course with no hesitations. In a clear attempt to help flagging beef sales the comedy duo Leon & hits offer a timely reminder to our foreign cousins of just how good British beef is in 'beef interlude', this song has won praise from such luminaries as Anthony blair and Billy Hague as sales in UK beef are at least showing signs of recovery. A visit to the fairground with Broxburn is always cause for concern and 'merrygoes wrong' offers no exception to this rule, donning his plastic breasts and kiss me quick T-shirt the Professor entices young children onto his merry go round before the fun really begins......... The 'hypodermic medley' was recorded on new years eve 1999 at 11.58p.m. and resulting chaos two minutes in highlights why a UK government task force has been set up to combat the 2000 changeover. 'Open sesame' tells the story of a young man trying to get through the revolving doors at Harrods but unfortunately he keeps being escorted off the premises due to his bedraggled appearance. Suffering from coughs these days always seems to be a common problem amongst the young and old, if your suffering from a nasty cough please heed our advice on 'you really should take some covonia' affter the medicine is taken the instant relief is there for all to see. No other linctus brand currently in the market place offers this kind of oral protection. Finally the first side concludes with a real life 'day up north'. With this track you can pretend you live around 'ilkley moor' and eat brown bread and dripping sandwiches. Everything around these parts is fried sonny including cornflakes and milk........... Once flipped over we are whisked to the palace with Alice 'BuckingHam Palace'. If you look closely enough you can see some corgi poo and some budgie the helicopter books strewn across the front courtyard it. On 'Spot The Birdie' His Eminence Sir Robin Sparrow provides a tweet or two with this old time favourite, if granny isn't up with this one then she must, we feel, be deaf. With a little bit of that and a little bit of this we reckon this is an absolute cracker and a must for all weddings, barmitzvah's, christenings and discotheques world wide. Definitely one for the Black Stallion Mobile DJ box. An old melody from that endless night in 1945 comes back to haunt us during our stay in the overlook hotel. When the clock strikes midnight all times become one and strange things can happen..... 'Cha Cha Bra' provides support for two of the biggest lumps in music today. Not since Black Lace (rip) have I been so astounded with such vocal dexterity. In 'One Lump or Two Lumps ?' we can definitely hear those dulcet V/Vm tones caress an old favourite in the way in which Michael Bolton attacks R'n'B. Taken from the well bootlegged V/Vm live at Stockport Town Hall Xmas 1997 tapes, this track shows just how much the older generation of music fans appreciate the V/Vm boys. ' We'll meat again' is a favourite of those going to war and those staying at home watching Rusty Lee. Easy to hum and remember this track provides a nice shelter from enemy tanks. Lastly 'please use the rear exits' when leaving and Jeff we've found one of your gloves, you must have dropped it on your way out......................... After the Christmas 7" being banned in 10 different countries I see more of the same for this release. I suggest in your hearts that you warn people not to buy or play this record because it tastes like pickled eggs. Yours CV[EV] _____vvm xxxxxxxx this release will be distributed by SRD : they can be contacted by phone +44 181 802 3000 and by e:mail : xxxxx@xxxxxxxx.xxx the butchers at V/Vm can be contacted by phone on : +44 161 480 5845 and by e:mail : xxx@x-xx.xxxxx.xx.xx release date : Monday May The 18th. 18/05/98 V/Vm The Story So Far >>>>> VVMT0001 : Up Link Data Transmissions (a series of mutant space scapes) VVMT0002 : Privileged Frames For Reference LP (Feat Oleg Statichenko, Jega, Datathief, Mild Man Jan & More) VVMT0004 : Missingtoe & Whine 7" (Feat V/Vm, Broxburn, Bored In Canada and more) VVMT0005 : Chart Runners LP VVMT0006 : Announcement Soon 0161 : Collaboration CD with Skam Records Featuring V/Vm, Autechre, Gescom, The Fall, Jega, Bola and More) 12FAT06 : Split 12" EP -- V/Vm / 3rd Eye Foundation xxxx@xxxxx.xxx /// http://www.sonic.net/~brap/ [V/VM][blackdog] ETC-+/////////// C.Gosselin, 1547 Boston Court #7, Santa Rosa, CA 95405